Ever since I started my job at the Salt Lick I have wondered if I should stay. I felt like it was the right place for me to work at when I got the job, but I have to admit, I have been second guessing that decision. But I still go to work, with no intention of quitting. I am walking this line, this balancing act, trying to figure out whether I need to stick it out or learn how to let go and reach for more.
I tend to be the kind of person that if something doesn't really tickle my fancy, I give up. Or I "fizzle out". I start out full throttle, but once I realize that I am not enjoying myself, the attitude kicks in. If I am not "happy" doing something, it must mean that the situation needs to change, not my standards for happiness. I am coming to the realization that there is a time and place for everything, that I can understand why I am not necessarily "happy" doing something because its not my long term goal, but I need to have joy doing it and be content with what is on my plate now. I have been given this job, that I don't really enjoy doing and my eyes are glued to the clock throughout the whole shift, but I know that if I went and got a job somewhere else, I would find something wrong with that one, too. The point is, I need to learn to stick things out, even if its unpleasant and not what I feel like doing. Its going to teach me how to have perseverance, and also not to put what I don't have up on a pedestal.
In my town, there are a lot of cows and goats roaming around in their fields. So many times I drive past them and they are straining their neck, squeezing it through the fence, trying to get their teeth on the grass outside the fence. I think they are so silly....why don't they spare their poor necks and eat the ten acres of grass inside the fence? I am exactly the same way....I idolize what is outside my reach. The job I want (something creative and design related) is not possible right now. Maybe once I have a little school under my belt, I can work in a firm or something. But realistically I couldn't get that job now. I have full confidence that at the right time, I will get that job. I will get a job that will go towards what I want to do. But right now, I serve drinks and desserts, and scoop beans, cole slaw, and potato salad onto plates. Its not my dream, or life goal. But its teaching me invaluable lessons of determination, selflessness, and hard work. So when I get to work in the interior design field, I will be a force to be reckoned with.
In conclusion, when I decide to be content with this job, I am actually pushing myself to be content. I am not settling, or staying in my comfy zone. I am choosing to stretch myself, push beyond my capacity, reach for more from myself....and kick it up a notch. And have absolute joy doing so....after all I am working for Jesus, right?
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