Michelle came to Austin July 21-27, and it was an awesome week. I had a great time with her and I wanted to write a synopsis of the week so I won't forget the details.
Saturday- Michelle arrives in Austin, after being rerouted be Southwest and having to take three flights to get here. They also lost her bag at the end of the day. We ate dinner at the Hula Hut, where michelle helped me park my car, and chips and queso, a fuzzy navel, a self serve chip dispenser, an enchilada, a video of me laughing, and the blessed key lime mints made our night. Even though we were both hormonal and heavy hearted (michelle's dad had an infected foot that possibly needed surgery), it was a great kick start to the week ahead.
Sunday- We both sleep in ridiculously late and manage to get awake and alive. We hang out around the house and take a dip in the pool before going to church. After church we hit up Jason's Deli, where theology was the table topic (I know I was right...ha!). I then take her over to Amy's Ice Cream, where we are hit on by a 15 year old looking kid, who gives us a free mix in just because we were "friendly". And he punched my ice cream card 4 times...heck yeah. Michelle, rated our ice cream a "solid 9". We attempted to see a movie, and missed all the show times. So we headed over to the hollywood rental, where michelle "disappears" to the bathroom for twenty minutes, thinking she told me but, trust me, she did not. I am freaking out, not able to find her, thinking she is playing with me. But she wasn't. Anyways, michelle is no help picking out a movie and I have to pick on my own. I picked out some doozies. And michelle saw a pickle in a pouch and flirted with the guy behind the counter of course....and scored a free movie.
Monday- We started the day with a visit to my chiropractor, where michelle was hoping to see a certain someone but never did. So disappointed. She cringes as I get adjusted. We then hit up the local bakery where we get stocked with cookies, drinks, and a scone for our trip to San Antonio. Michelle determines they were the best cookies...ever. So we make our way to Six Flags, and quickly made up our minds about the place. It doesn't hold a candle to Disney. Michelle gets me to go on rides I would never have gone on before, including a rollercoaster that goes backwards, the up- down thing, and a twisty ride that I never want to look at again....but we liked the water rides, the carousel, and the superman rollercoaster was awesome. Jonathan, the frozen lemonande kid, says we have to pay with cash, a rule that came out of nowhere. And after many rides, videos and pictures later, we head home tired and our heads buzzing. Michelle wasn't feeling so hot...
to be continued....
Monday, July 7, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
God is so Funny...
So I went to work today, wholeheartedly devoted to working for the Lord, determined to let my light shine in the workplace. I decided to choose contentment, pushing myself to be happy with what I was given and make the best of it, regardless of my feelings. We were consistently busy today, and I was on my feet all day with no break. But I like it that way. I like feeling like my day was productive and if I am going to spend 6 hours at work, I want it to be a busy 6 hours. I had a good day, even though I worked my booty off.
At the end of the day, I say goodbye to one of the managers and she says she wants to talk to me. So we walk outside where she informs me that she wants to train me as a server. WHOA! Now understand, I applied to work as a server, but since the Salt Lick is an established place, people usually have to work 1-2 years to work up to a server position. I feel like God has blessed me immensely. My manager still has to get this approved by her boss, but regardless, she thinks I am server material. And if I don't get it this time around, more than likely I will get another chance soon. And I have been working there only two months! Only God could bring opportunities like this. Being a server at the Salt Lick means being a respected part of a favorite Texas establishment. No joke! and the money ain't bad...hahaha!
It just reminds me of what God can do when you surrender to Him. He blesses those who pursue Him with all their heart, soul, and mind. He brings success and favor. He is good, and I don't know why I am surprised, honestly. I know God is good, I am just always blown away when He chooses to pour His goodness out on me. I am so undeserving, but I am so thankful. The day after I pour my heart out about this job into my blog, He gives me the opportunity I was hoping for all along. Isn't he so funny?
At the end of the day, I say goodbye to one of the managers and she says she wants to talk to me. So we walk outside where she informs me that she wants to train me as a server. WHOA! Now understand, I applied to work as a server, but since the Salt Lick is an established place, people usually have to work 1-2 years to work up to a server position. I feel like God has blessed me immensely. My manager still has to get this approved by her boss, but regardless, she thinks I am server material. And if I don't get it this time around, more than likely I will get another chance soon. And I have been working there only two months! Only God could bring opportunities like this. Being a server at the Salt Lick means being a respected part of a favorite Texas establishment. No joke! and the money ain't bad...hahaha!
It just reminds me of what God can do when you surrender to Him. He blesses those who pursue Him with all their heart, soul, and mind. He brings success and favor. He is good, and I don't know why I am surprised, honestly. I know God is good, I am just always blown away when He chooses to pour His goodness out on me. I am so undeserving, but I am so thankful. The day after I pour my heart out about this job into my blog, He gives me the opportunity I was hoping for all along. Isn't he so funny?
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Being Happy with whats on my Plate....even if its Cole Slaw
Ever since I started my job at the Salt Lick I have wondered if I should stay. I felt like it was the right place for me to work at when I got the job, but I have to admit, I have been second guessing that decision. But I still go to work, with no intention of quitting. I am walking this line, this balancing act, trying to figure out whether I need to stick it out or learn how to let go and reach for more.
I tend to be the kind of person that if something doesn't really tickle my fancy, I give up. Or I "fizzle out". I start out full throttle, but once I realize that I am not enjoying myself, the attitude kicks in. If I am not "happy" doing something, it must mean that the situation needs to change, not my standards for happiness. I am coming to the realization that there is a time and place for everything, that I can understand why I am not necessarily "happy" doing something because its not my long term goal, but I need to have joy doing it and be content with what is on my plate now. I have been given this job, that I don't really enjoy doing and my eyes are glued to the clock throughout the whole shift, but I know that if I went and got a job somewhere else, I would find something wrong with that one, too. The point is, I need to learn to stick things out, even if its unpleasant and not what I feel like doing. Its going to teach me how to have perseverance, and also not to put what I don't have up on a pedestal.
In my town, there are a lot of cows and goats roaming around in their fields. So many times I drive past them and they are straining their neck, squeezing it through the fence, trying to get their teeth on the grass outside the fence. I think they are so silly....why don't they spare their poor necks and eat the ten acres of grass inside the fence? I am exactly the same way....I idolize what is outside my reach. The job I want (something creative and design related) is not possible right now. Maybe once I have a little school under my belt, I can work in a firm or something. But realistically I couldn't get that job now. I have full confidence that at the right time, I will get that job. I will get a job that will go towards what I want to do. But right now, I serve drinks and desserts, and scoop beans, cole slaw, and potato salad onto plates. Its not my dream, or life goal. But its teaching me invaluable lessons of determination, selflessness, and hard work. So when I get to work in the interior design field, I will be a force to be reckoned with.
In conclusion, when I decide to be content with this job, I am actually pushing myself to be content. I am not settling, or staying in my comfy zone. I am choosing to stretch myself, push beyond my capacity, reach for more from myself....and kick it up a notch. And have absolute joy doing so....after all I am working for Jesus, right?
I tend to be the kind of person that if something doesn't really tickle my fancy, I give up. Or I "fizzle out". I start out full throttle, but once I realize that I am not enjoying myself, the attitude kicks in. If I am not "happy" doing something, it must mean that the situation needs to change, not my standards for happiness. I am coming to the realization that there is a time and place for everything, that I can understand why I am not necessarily "happy" doing something because its not my long term goal, but I need to have joy doing it and be content with what is on my plate now. I have been given this job, that I don't really enjoy doing and my eyes are glued to the clock throughout the whole shift, but I know that if I went and got a job somewhere else, I would find something wrong with that one, too. The point is, I need to learn to stick things out, even if its unpleasant and not what I feel like doing. Its going to teach me how to have perseverance, and also not to put what I don't have up on a pedestal.
In my town, there are a lot of cows and goats roaming around in their fields. So many times I drive past them and they are straining their neck, squeezing it through the fence, trying to get their teeth on the grass outside the fence. I think they are so silly....why don't they spare their poor necks and eat the ten acres of grass inside the fence? I am exactly the same way....I idolize what is outside my reach. The job I want (something creative and design related) is not possible right now. Maybe once I have a little school under my belt, I can work in a firm or something. But realistically I couldn't get that job now. I have full confidence that at the right time, I will get that job. I will get a job that will go towards what I want to do. But right now, I serve drinks and desserts, and scoop beans, cole slaw, and potato salad onto plates. Its not my dream, or life goal. But its teaching me invaluable lessons of determination, selflessness, and hard work. So when I get to work in the interior design field, I will be a force to be reckoned with.
In conclusion, when I decide to be content with this job, I am actually pushing myself to be content. I am not settling, or staying in my comfy zone. I am choosing to stretch myself, push beyond my capacity, reach for more from myself....and kick it up a notch. And have absolute joy doing so....after all I am working for Jesus, right?
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Who needs a boyfriend when you have best friends?
Is it possible to burst at the seams from love? Sometimes I think it is.I am having one of those moments. My heart is exceedingly blessed. God gives me so much more than I could ever deserve, and so often I stop and think of how loved and showered upon I am.
Right now my bestest friend is chatting politics with my mom. So I bowed out to give them some space, mostly because I love hearing my friend and my mom talk. Its so interesting to sit back and just listen. I get to talk to both of them separately all the time, so I enjoy getting out of the equation and letting them talk with out me in the middle. Its fun to me. It warms my heart.
I feel like I could die tomorrow and my life would have been successful. I have friends that have my back no matter what and know me inside and out. They are my family, and my life is overflowing with joy because of them. They are my lifetime friends, the kind that I will share my nursing home room with, and we will sit around and knit and recall the days we traveled together and the roads we went down (physically and spiritually). We will pull out our photo albums and laptops and check our facebook pages (I like to think we will be cool grandmas).
Between now and that time, I believe we will get married (for the two of us that are single) and share our weddings (Kate, oooh....it will be payback for you, sister). We will vacation together (Disney....always Disney). And we will have families and our kids will grow up together. We are a family, my friends and I, the kind of family that wasn't put together by blood, but chooses to be together in love. I am blessed...I have three sisters. One is biological. Two are just as close. My heart is their heart. Their heart is mine. I have so much gratitude that God put us together....He saw the big picture. He knew the ways we would need each other, even though we didn't necessarily know at the time.
Isn't God wonderful?
My heart is full. I thank God for His goodness.
Right now my bestest friend is chatting politics with my mom. So I bowed out to give them some space, mostly because I love hearing my friend and my mom talk. Its so interesting to sit back and just listen. I get to talk to both of them separately all the time, so I enjoy getting out of the equation and letting them talk with out me in the middle. Its fun to me. It warms my heart.
I feel like I could die tomorrow and my life would have been successful. I have friends that have my back no matter what and know me inside and out. They are my family, and my life is overflowing with joy because of them. They are my lifetime friends, the kind that I will share my nursing home room with, and we will sit around and knit and recall the days we traveled together and the roads we went down (physically and spiritually). We will pull out our photo albums and laptops and check our facebook pages (I like to think we will be cool grandmas).
Between now and that time, I believe we will get married (for the two of us that are single) and share our weddings (Kate, oooh....it will be payback for you, sister). We will vacation together (Disney....always Disney). And we will have families and our kids will grow up together. We are a family, my friends and I, the kind of family that wasn't put together by blood, but chooses to be together in love. I am blessed...I have three sisters. One is biological. Two are just as close. My heart is their heart. Their heart is mine. I have so much gratitude that God put us together....He saw the big picture. He knew the ways we would need each other, even though we didn't necessarily know at the time.
Isn't God wonderful?
My heart is full. I thank God for His goodness.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
My Heart is Full...
I am having one of those moments where I sit back and think of my life. And how blessed I am, how full my heart feels. Its an inexplicable feeling if joy and contentedness.
My brother is coming home from Afghanistan in about a week and a half, and he is expecting his first child in august. I am so happy to be seeing him, I feel like he and I will be starting a new chapter in our relationship.
I am going to see my sister in law, Melissa, next week for her baby shower. I am glad to finally be spending some real time with her.
My (what could I possibly call her?) best friend and sister Michelle is flying here today and I am just killing time until she gets here and I have her for a week (writing helps me from coming out of my skin with excitement).
I am sitting here with the ability to use my mom's computer and blog, meanwhile listening to the new coldplay cd on my ipod.
I have an amazing family, my sister is my sunshine and she and I are chilling at the house right now.
God has blessed me with a great church since we moved here, and God knew how much I needed a church here, more than anything. And we found that right away.
Through church I have met Jillian, my new friend, and I like her so much. I am almost afraid to tell her how much I like her because I don't want her to think I am a weirdo. But she and I click. I am blessed to have a friend here. And I genuinely think we will be good friends. And we are going to be camp counselors together....fun!
I am really feeling at home here in Texas, thanks to these things. I am believing in God's promises and realizing that God really has the best for those who believe and wait and trust in Him. Isaiah 64:4!!!
So my heart is full..here in this moment I acknowledge God for lavishing His goodness upon me and giving me the life I have. I am truly thankful, there is nothing I could ever do to deserve His grace and blessings.
My brother is coming home from Afghanistan in about a week and a half, and he is expecting his first child in august. I am so happy to be seeing him, I feel like he and I will be starting a new chapter in our relationship.
I am going to see my sister in law, Melissa, next week for her baby shower. I am glad to finally be spending some real time with her.
My (what could I possibly call her?) best friend and sister Michelle is flying here today and I am just killing time until she gets here and I have her for a week (writing helps me from coming out of my skin with excitement).
I am sitting here with the ability to use my mom's computer and blog, meanwhile listening to the new coldplay cd on my ipod.
I have an amazing family, my sister is my sunshine and she and I are chilling at the house right now.
God has blessed me with a great church since we moved here, and God knew how much I needed a church here, more than anything. And we found that right away.
Through church I have met Jillian, my new friend, and I like her so much. I am almost afraid to tell her how much I like her because I don't want her to think I am a weirdo. But she and I click. I am blessed to have a friend here. And I genuinely think we will be good friends. And we are going to be camp counselors together....fun!
I am really feeling at home here in Texas, thanks to these things. I am believing in God's promises and realizing that God really has the best for those who believe and wait and trust in Him. Isaiah 64:4!!!
So my heart is full..here in this moment I acknowledge God for lavishing His goodness upon me and giving me the life I have. I am truly thankful, there is nothing I could ever do to deserve His grace and blessings.
Friday, June 20, 2008
I wanna live in the Joy.....
Right now my head is pounding and I am groggy. I have cried a lot over the past two days. I have tried to get off of caffiene, but I am happily letting go of that ambition. Right now is not the time to do that. One of my dogs passed away the other day, and I did not take it lightly.
The first day was hard, the second day was better because I had a busy day and was distracted. Today, I need to clean my house, because my friend and partner in crime is coming to stay with me for a week. And I am beyond thrilled.So yes I am sad, but everyday life helps keep me from dwelling on the sadness.
Right now, I have so many thoughts going through my head it would be hard to write just about one. SO, that being said, this will be a culmination of my many thoughts. Here we go....
Like I said, my dog just passed away. And it makes me think about when my first dog died, and how hard that hit me. I think for so long I didn't know how to handle anything difficult that came my way, and I have come a long way since that time. I look back at the person I was, and honestly I don't know that person anymore.This morning I went back and read some of my old blog posts, from when I first moved, and I don't recognize that person. God has worked in me in so many ways. I feel liberated of the things I struggled with for most of my life, and I still struggle, but I know how to work through it and not get lost in it. By God's grace, He has saved me, and helped me.
One thing thats being weighing on my mind is my last blog post. I cannot live one day longer with this anger. Talking to a friend on the phone the other day about her anger only triple confirmed how badly I need to lose mine. So I did. I made the choice not to be angry anymore. Its not my place to judge my dad, he is simply human and struggling like we all are, and he is also a son of God. God will deal with him, and I need to love him like God does. It will take baby steps, but the other day, in my heartbreak from my dog's death, I hugged my dad, really hugged him, because I needed him. I need my dad. I love him. And I let the enemy trip me up into this anger, thinking my anger would hurt my dad, and yes, it hurt him....but it hurt me more. God cannot use an angry person. And no one wants to be around an angry person. I thought for so long that someone would "make" me angry.....no one "makes" me angry! I have chosen to be angry. Not any more. I refuse to let the enemy hold me captive one more with this false sense if righteousness over someone else. Enough!
And on a lighter note...life is sweet. God has blessed me so much. And my perspective on life changes when I focus on how blessed I am. I am loved by God. I have great family and friends. There is joy in everyday life. I want to throw away this stupid "I have a reason to be mad all the time", and live in the joy of God's liberation!
The first day was hard, the second day was better because I had a busy day and was distracted. Today, I need to clean my house, because my friend and partner in crime is coming to stay with me for a week. And I am beyond thrilled.So yes I am sad, but everyday life helps keep me from dwelling on the sadness.
Right now, I have so many thoughts going through my head it would be hard to write just about one. SO, that being said, this will be a culmination of my many thoughts. Here we go....
Like I said, my dog just passed away. And it makes me think about when my first dog died, and how hard that hit me. I think for so long I didn't know how to handle anything difficult that came my way, and I have come a long way since that time. I look back at the person I was, and honestly I don't know that person anymore.This morning I went back and read some of my old blog posts, from when I first moved, and I don't recognize that person. God has worked in me in so many ways. I feel liberated of the things I struggled with for most of my life, and I still struggle, but I know how to work through it and not get lost in it. By God's grace, He has saved me, and helped me.
One thing thats being weighing on my mind is my last blog post. I cannot live one day longer with this anger. Talking to a friend on the phone the other day about her anger only triple confirmed how badly I need to lose mine. So I did. I made the choice not to be angry anymore. Its not my place to judge my dad, he is simply human and struggling like we all are, and he is also a son of God. God will deal with him, and I need to love him like God does. It will take baby steps, but the other day, in my heartbreak from my dog's death, I hugged my dad, really hugged him, because I needed him. I need my dad. I love him. And I let the enemy trip me up into this anger, thinking my anger would hurt my dad, and yes, it hurt him....but it hurt me more. God cannot use an angry person. And no one wants to be around an angry person. I thought for so long that someone would "make" me angry.....no one "makes" me angry! I have chosen to be angry. Not any more. I refuse to let the enemy hold me captive one more with this false sense if righteousness over someone else. Enough!
And on a lighter note...life is sweet. God has blessed me so much. And my perspective on life changes when I focus on how blessed I am. I am loved by God. I have great family and friends. There is joy in everyday life. I want to throw away this stupid "I have a reason to be mad all the time", and live in the joy of God's liberation!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Reoccurring Theme...
The message of Love is coming at me from a million different directions. I am doing a Bible study where we examined 1 Corinthians 13 "the Love chapter", and I just read an amazing life altering book, "The Shack", which is about God's character and His Love. This past Saturday I spent the day just hanging with my mom and aunt, and we watched the musical Annie (a story of love and redemption, as well as father-daughter love ) and then followed that up with A Little Princess, one of the best movies EVER. It also is about love, how a father and daughter share a deep love for each other, and how this love keeps the little girl, even in the darkest of circumstances, believing that she and all girls are princesses.
I struggle with my relationship with my dad. Its hurting in a lot of ways. To me, he is my "unloveable person", I simply don't know how to do it. In an attempt to keep myself from getting hurt, I have put up my guard around him, and am now feelingless. I refuse to get hurt, I have spent too much time being hurt and upset...now I just have rage. I fill up with anger and try live and operate within my anger. Its all directed towards him. And Lord forbid he does something that pokes me in the least bit way, because the fury will start to leak out. And its not pretty....
The thought of loving my Dad, really loving him like God asks me to, would require an out of body experience for me, to live beyond myself.
Hold up....isn't that what God asks us to do? To live outside of ourselves??
Part of my being able to love my dad, is understanding Gods love for me. If you have not read "The Shack", RUN to the bookstore and buy it. Don't live another day without reading it. It personalizes God and it changed my entire outlook on Him. Its truly indescribable. I finished it last night and tears were flowing. I think I have heard so many of the love "catch phrases" about God that they have lost their meaning. Yes, I know God is love....but what does that mean? I still have this warped view of who He is and my ideas of how he operates have clouded any illusion I might have that God is entirely love. I have let my experience with humans and my own judgements lead me to think that God's love is like our love....conditional, disappointing, superficial, moody, selfish...the list could go on. The thought that God NEVER stops loving me, that God not only loves me, but is IN love with me, is miraculous. He loves me and treasures me like I adore my little sister. I look at her and my heart goes out to her when she is so mad and her behavior gets in the way of what she could have. I want her to stop her tantrum so she can have the special treat, I am not angry with her or love her any less because she is "bad" sometimes. I think she is cute and funny...and I don't know how to say it but....I don't just love her, I LIKE her. And to think that God feels that way about me...is mind blowing. He is never disappointed in me, He genuinely likes me...He loves me.
I struggle with my relationship with my dad. Its hurting in a lot of ways. To me, he is my "unloveable person", I simply don't know how to do it. In an attempt to keep myself from getting hurt, I have put up my guard around him, and am now feelingless. I refuse to get hurt, I have spent too much time being hurt and upset...now I just have rage. I fill up with anger and try live and operate within my anger. Its all directed towards him. And Lord forbid he does something that pokes me in the least bit way, because the fury will start to leak out. And its not pretty....
The thought of loving my Dad, really loving him like God asks me to, would require an out of body experience for me, to live beyond myself.
Hold up....isn't that what God asks us to do? To live outside of ourselves??
Part of my being able to love my dad, is understanding Gods love for me. If you have not read "The Shack", RUN to the bookstore and buy it. Don't live another day without reading it. It personalizes God and it changed my entire outlook on Him. Its truly indescribable. I finished it last night and tears were flowing. I think I have heard so many of the love "catch phrases" about God that they have lost their meaning. Yes, I know God is love....but what does that mean? I still have this warped view of who He is and my ideas of how he operates have clouded any illusion I might have that God is entirely love. I have let my experience with humans and my own judgements lead me to think that God's love is like our love....conditional, disappointing, superficial, moody, selfish...the list could go on. The thought that God NEVER stops loving me, that God not only loves me, but is IN love with me, is miraculous. He loves me and treasures me like I adore my little sister. I look at her and my heart goes out to her when she is so mad and her behavior gets in the way of what she could have. I want her to stop her tantrum so she can have the special treat, I am not angry with her or love her any less because she is "bad" sometimes. I think she is cute and funny...and I don't know how to say it but....I don't just love her, I LIKE her. And to think that God feels that way about me...is mind blowing. He is never disappointed in me, He genuinely likes me...He loves me.
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