Call Dr.Phil Somebody...

Why do I try to fix everything? I can't seem to help myself.I am constantly saying I am sorry and trying to fix things that I think I have made wrong. I tend to make situations a bigger deal than they actually are, and then I feel incredibly guilty. Maybe the problem is that I make everything about me....

I spend too much time thinking about what other people think of me, which isn't their problem, its mine. This can put strain on relationships, in fact it does most of the time. I am insecure with myself so I am constantly second guessing other people's intentions and actions. I make mountains out of molehills when it comes to things I have done, I tend to be too hard on myself. I tear myself apart and think other people are doing the same, but they probably aren't, but even if they are, I can't do anything about it.

But like I said, I try to fix everything..like I want to clear up anything and make things right when they weren't even wrong to begin with. I will find things to apologize for just to make sure that people don't have anything to be mad at me for. Because I wouldn't want people to be mad at me secretly and waiting for me to come to them and apologize! I am exhausting myself just writing this! Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I be happy and not read into people's behavior? For example, I haven't talked to one of my best friends in a couple of days, and when I talked to her the last few times, she seemed to be a little withdrawn. Immediately my insecurity kicks in, and my mind starts to think she is pulling away from me and doesn't want to talk. On the other hand, I know she is probably very busy with school and the semester wrapping up. But she is not acting like herself, that I know. and deep down, I am afraid...afraid of losing her friendship, and for some reason I think I have to hold on to her for dear life or I will lose her. And I always think its something that I did, that I pushed her away, or I do something that makes her not want to talk to me. What is my problem? Normally, I would apologize the next time I talk to her. But more than likely, she is busy and not even thinking anything like that....and this is a perfect example of everything I just wrote about myself. I am lucky to even have friends....