Observation...

Growing up, I decided to not date. I still practice that today, truly believing this time in my life is for the Lord, family, and friends..and school. Lots of school.

It seems like every person has their own idea of what it means to not date. I have observed so much about this growing up in a large church with a large youth group, and still today, with my small group of friends that have stuck with me through the awkward youth group years into the college-age time of life. So anyways this is my observation- it is always so much easier to follow your convictions (choosing not to date and stay focused on other things) if you tiptoe around the boundaries you have set for yourself. For example, if you are a guy, and surround yourself with a bunch of girls to be your friends (even if there are a few guys mixed in the bunch), its easier to be "single" because you still have the female presence in your life and all that entails (flirtation).

The same is pretty much true with girls. I have made that mistake in the past (like two weeks ago....ha!) where "liking" a guy has helped me get over the fact that I can't/not supposed to date him. Because my heart wasn't truly in my convictions! At some point, I knew what I was suppose to believe, the technicalities, but as far as how that applied to my life...I had lost touch. The facts are this, its almost IMPOSSIBLE to have a non-flirtatious friendship with opposite sex. I personally don't even want to bother trying....whats the point? If anything it makes us more confused because the friendship/dating line can become easily misunderstood and what was once black and white becomes muddled. I feel like more harm than good comes out of guy/girl friendships.....even in groups. The fact is that God created men and women to enjoy each other's presence, but its only the best to enjoy the opposite sex's company in marriage, at the right time in life. And as a young person, when this is the hardest for us, why do we determine that co-mingling is ok for us? Because its too extreme to only limit our friends to the same sex? Or is it because hanging out with the opposite sex lessens the sting of our chosen singleness? I ask myself these questions all the time, for myself and other people. I see guys I knew from growing up say that their relationship with the Lord is better than ever, they are more focused that ever, more content...and yet, they are fooling around with these female friend relationships. How can that be? As for myself, there's NO way that I can be close with the Lord when my mind is on some guy, either in a stupid "liking" way (which is completely self serving) or in a friends way. Maybe that is the best way to describe it.....self serving. This is the time in our young lives where we should be about other people, how can we serve others? And yet, it seems like we are more preoccupied with finding loopholes in our convictions.. "Its ok to be friends with the opposite sex as long as we are in groups", etc. Oh, I am tired of hearing the group excuse! Like no flirtation or fence-walking goes on in groups, Puh leez! Groups only make what goes on in a one on one situation seem ok, because you are in a group of people its better? And I am guilty of this myself....I don't know, I am just tired of the double standards. In myself, in other people. We could be doing so much more, giving so much more of ourselves, and to me, it looks like young people have gotten caught up in this "what feels good to us" game. What feels good to us is holding us back!Its been holding me back and its time to stop walking the fence and pick a side.

And on another note, as a young woman, a guy who has a bunch of "girl" friends has no chance with me! Sister don't think so!!!